Talk Is Cheap
by kbeto
Summary: The gap between generations gets really evident when the time to have 'the talk' with your kids finally arrives. Danny, however, isn't sure how he should even approach the subject. Flones, fluff-ish, hinted Pudd. Rated T for no especial reason.


_Disclaimer: From fan to others fans! Don't waste your time thinking of suing me._

_A/N: Another prompt from imagineyourOTP. It can be seen as a insert between 'Castle' and 'Dying', as it's set in the same universe. I'm thinking of taking a beak from this SAs for some time, so I'll probably just stick to 'DF' until I finish it, and then probably will take another creative break. At any rate, I won't be returning to 'To Live and to Learn' this year! I'm sorry! :(_

_**Marvin Fletcher **Haha! Don't worry, I'm always googling stuff! I'm very curious in that aspect! ;) Wait, that was a reference, too? I thought you were talking about those generic products to thicken hair!_

_A good Pudd is always a flirty Pudd, in my opinion. BWAhahaha! OMG I can't tell any more, either. Sometimes I read something I wrote and I'm like 'wait, was that supposed to be an innuendo?'. I guess we're all a bit pervy after spending some time in the fandom? *pterodactyl screech* Well, Dougie said he had better idea of something to do on a table.. ;) Thank you so much, dear! :D_

_**Anonymous** He's the very embodiment of perviness, I reckon. BWAhahaha! All these animals makes me want to thread on a 'Madagascar' inspired fic one day! I just love those penguins! :D_

_OMG I'm fairly sure that all those perverted one-liners from Dougie are affecting you bad! You're almost sounding like him! BWAhahaha! He probably took Tom with him because he thinks his friend needs to be out and about a bit more. Lucky Tom that he didn't have to go back to Dougie's place or he wouldn't get any sleep that night (nor would he want to eat on that table). :P Thank you! :D_

Talk Is Cheap

Being a parent isn't an easy task, that much Tom and Danny knew way before they had the twins. What they didn't anticipate – and you can call that a miscalculation or anything of the same nature – was that their little kids would eventually grow, become teenagers, meet new people, and develop new forms of relationships. Relationships that could involve getting _intimate_ with another person, thus they needed to give Luke and Leah 'the talk'.

"Dan?"

"Here, Tommy," Danny called from behind a mountain of books and papers he was working on. His head piped up and he smiled broadly when he saw his husband enter the study with some tea for them; he really could use some tea. "Thanks, my love," he received the mug, pecking Tom on the lips.

Now, Danny had never been the most perceptive person to ever walk on Earth, but even he could tell Tom was acting all fidgety, something on his mind worrying the blond a big deal.

Gulping his drink in one swift go, Tom put his mug back on the tea tray. "We need to talk," he said, looking a bit pale.

It was then Danny's turn to have colour fleeing his face. "Ya want divorce? Is tha' because of that stupid Little Mermaid doll in our room I broke on accident, innit?" Danny felt his heart drop to his stomach. He knew he should have bought another toy before Tom realised the strange fish figure was missing a fin.

"Divorce? No, why would I– Wait, you broke my Nemo? You twat, that's a collector's special!" Tom glared back, but suddenly remembered the reason he came into the Danny's workplace and made a mental note to confront him about the broken figure later. "You need to talk to your kids. Give them _'the talk'_."

"Me? Why not you? You're so good with people!"

"They're not _any_ people_, _they're _our_ children, our very flesh and blood," Tom crossed his arms, taking a step forward so he was directly above Danny, bending down to run his fingers though the dark curls, something that he knew made the freckled man go insane and shiver. "Do this for me and I promise I'll make it up for you later," he whispered the last words, coupled with a nibble on Danny's ear lobe.

"I'm not falling for it so easy this time," Danny laughed, kissing Tom on the cheek and shoving his husband lightly. Despite his words and actions, Tom knew his proposal stirred some interest in Danny, as he watched the brunet stir around in his sit, crossing his legs and picking a book to cover his lap with.

"I guess after 10 years of marriage you can't really seduce your husband easily?" He shrugged. "Then, there's only one way to settle this as adults."

"Come, Thomas," Danny got up from his chair, knocking the book down. He wasn't even aware of the bulge in his trousers any more.

The two of them got face-to-face, staring at each other, ready to react to the first attack. "Rock, paper, scissors!" They both yelled in unison.

~#~

In all honesty, Tom only won because he had noticed a long time ago that Danny would always play rock on the first round. And so Danny found himself sitting on the living room with Leah and Luke on the sofa opposite to him, studying their father with quizzical looks. The teenagers questioned their other dad what would this conversation be about, but Tom only laughed saying they would found out by themselves.

"We don't really have all day, Papa," Leah spoke, bending her upper body forward, resting her hands on her knees. "Those essays aren't writing themselves, you know."

"Shush, Leah! He _clearly_ has something important to say," Luke nudged her sister on the shoulder, glaring at her momentarily. "What do you want to chat about, Papa?" Even after growing up, their fathers would always be 'Dad and Papa'.

"Erm– Dad and I thought– I mean, you two are growing up so fast and then–" The siblings looked at each other and back to Danny, who cursed his own brain for not being able to coordinate the speech he had prepared. Somewhere along the way between his brain and his mouth there was this filter with the sole purpose of scrambling his words in a pile of rubbish and nonsense.

Danny breathed in and closed his eyes, deciding on a new approach. "I want to talk to you two about _birds and bees_," he breathed out.

Silence. Among all the reactions he could imagine, silence wasn't really one of them. In fact, Danny was about sure that he was left alone in the room, when he cracked an eye open just in time to see Leah break into mad laughter, repeatedly pounding a fist on the armrest of the couch, whilst Luke had his mouth hanging open and rosy cheeks.

"Did I say something... wrong?"

"You're hilarious, Papa!" Leah wiped a tear, failing to calm down. "You should've said sooner that you wanted to give us 'the talk'!"

"I wasn't expecting that, either," Luke added, a little less flustered this time. "We already had _that talk _with Uncle Dougie and Uncle Harry. Well, mainly Uncle Harry, because he shooed Uncle Dougie away saying that he didn't want us _"to learn the perverted stuff"_."

"Although we already knew everything he had to tell us. We even taught him some stuff," the girl shrugged dismissively. "You adults can be so clueless sometimes! Seriously!"

~#~

Tom was already in bed applying lotion to his skin, when Danny opened the door with a unreadable expression. "How was it? Did you talk to them?" He asked, halting his actions briefly.

"Yeah," Danny replied vaguely. "Did ya know that they already had the talk with Harry and Dougie?"

"Dougie?!"

"Relax, Harry chased him away and did most of the talk himself. Not that I think they _needed_ it," Danny plopped a book down on Tom's lap. "It's an early wedding anniversary present. From the kids."

"_Tantric Sex for Dummies"_ the book in Tom's hand read. His eyes grew wide and a gasp escaped his lips. When he confronted Danny about it, the freckled man only answered that they could try their new present some other day, because he had learned too many new things in just one night from two _very well informed_ teenagers, and Tom would need the same talk.

~Fin~

_A/N2: Prompt was "Imagine your OTP sitting down with their offspring and giving them 'the talk'. Alternatively, imagine your OTP about to give 'the talk', only for said offspring to give _**_them_**_ 'the talk'." _


End file.
